Loving my Tribe fiercely.......

So, sitting here on a muggy, summer August day on my favorite Maine island, reflecting on what "Tribe" means to me......

I have spent the last 8 years as a stay at home mom, aka "housewife" (Just so you know, I Fucking hate that term). Over these 8 years I have been so busy....homeschooling, pregnant, nursing, gardening, postpartum, book keeping....5 kids....lobsterman's wife....the list of chores is frightening to most (especially said lobsterman). Recently, I made a huge decision to go back to work. I have many amazing, healing business ventures in the works, but my goal is to have my very own studio space to offer these gifts. So, for the sake of my sanity, and to bring in more money for the budget, with the goal of freeing up funds to acquire a property...I have returned to the world of bartending.

I have just finished up my second week back after 8  years away. Let me tell you, momma is tired. I am sitting here surrounded by 5 busy, messy, starving (always!) little loves between 3 and 12 years old. I am sitting here catching up on bills and all that wicked fun stuff....reflecting on this concept of Tribe.

These last 8 years I have been surrounded by my little tribe. However, it has felt incredibly, and overwhelmingly lonely most of the time. And, there was my 18 month stay on a remote island....You have never felt so lonely.....I spent 2 weeks in my house unable to leave my driveway because it was so icy that my car wouldn't make it out. We spent 2 or 3 days of a Maine February iced in. No boats were able to come or go....

It is unfortunate to me that the majority of our culture has strayed so far from such an ancient concept of being part of a tribe. Many of us spend our days immersed in the rat race that we are conditioned to think is the correct way of life. Days are spent living in our own heads barely a meaningful conversation to be had, let alone a close connection.

This. Is. Sad......We NEED each other!!!

Not only have I returned to a CHEERS like version of a tribe, which feels really great. The world of bartending lends you an extended family. Many of the people I am seeing now, are the same people I developed relationships with when I was previously serving up the spirits. We have picked up right where we left off as thought there were no 8 year gap in conversation.

I also spent three days last weekend immersed in a brand new tribe of women. We gathered in the most magically wooded place I have ever experienced. We were surrounded by trees, herbs, vegetables, wild medicine, and beautiful nourishing food. I knew only one other person at the start of the journey. Yet, somehow, I had known them all, my whole life. We came together to form a supportive, warm, almost ancient connection. Ladies were comfortable enough to bare it all and swim naked in the magical pond.

I found myself in a state of extreme awe. Never have I experienced such a caring, non-judgemental, open armed group of women. Despite only knowing each other a short time I have no doubt that these women have my back, even from across the country, or over the Canadian border. We gathered, we connected, we shared fire, food, tears, healing, ceremony, and the most amazing chocolate EVER!!! We are connected for life.

The most beautiful part is, we are here for you too. A group of women determined to offer a sense of Tribe to all who are open.

My ONLY caution is this.....Leaving the company of such beautiful souls may leave you SO full of love that anything less is hard to swallow. Upon returning to "the real world" I spent a couple of days coddling a sense of grief. It was so hard to come out of the sacred circle we formed and return to everyday life. I feel such a connection to my beautiful new Tribe that I am sad to be away from them. Yet, I have a new strength that is unbreakable. Even from far apart we walk together.

To all of my new sisters, Should you need me.......I am here for you.

To all of my readers, find your tribe and love them fiercely! The world needs more LOVE!!!

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Kelly

A Sigh of Relief, and Excitement......

As most of you know by now, I have been struggling with Lyme Disease for almost a year. This week it kicked me right in the nuts and dropped me to the ground. This was a debilitating week. However, I have learned, as time has gone on, how to catch these nasty flare ups and calm them as fast as I can. So, thanks to my Essential Oils, a whole day in bed, and extra TLC from my husband and children, I am on the mend. Good thing, because not being able to use one leg for a day, and then having my jaw seized up on the next....Didn't help my spring fever at all!!!! Now, even though I am still not 100%, I can move on, just a little slower then normal. So, it will be back to starting seeds, and rototilling, and fence building, finishing up our homeschool year (because in our homeschool we are sure to be done by the first week of May!), chicken tending.....and the list goes on. Today though, that is all going to wait, because I have been invited to do something that I have wanted to do for SOOO long. I want to share this adventure with you.

This is totally of topic from what I usually write about. This is not about fishing, or chickens, or any of that hippie stuff. This is about nurturing broken places way down deep inside of my soul. Some of you might think I have jumped right off the deep end. Some of you might not believe in this topic of conversation, but here's the thing, that's okay. This is about me. This is about years and years of pain from multiple losses.

A beautiful, thoughtful friend has invited me to be a part of a group reading with a medium. This friend has already had the opportunity to sit through a group reading with this particular medium. She had an incredible experience, and I am THRILLED to have this chance.

I have known the pain of loss since a very early age. One of my first memories is from attending the funeral of a baby brother that I was anticipating. A baby brother that was due to be born healthy any day, but instead was born ready to bury. I have lost grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, pets......I am a person who loves with my whole heart, even if you really screw up, I will still be there. So, when death comes lurking in and takes you away, a peace of me gets broken.

I have learned different ways of handling death over the years. I also have tuned in to my spirituality a bit, not in a religious sense necessarily, but in a.......bigger meaning, more to life, everything happens for a reason, interconnected sense. I hope I haven't lost you. What I mean is, that I know in my soul, that our loved ones aren't lost forever, they have moved on, but they are with us. I pay attention to the signs. I sometimes just know things, before they happen. I do not profess to be a world renowned clairvoyant, psychic, medium, or anything of the sort. All I am saying is, I believe there is more to life than what we see.

So, my point here is, I am grateful that I feel better! I am so happy this bought with Lyme was short in duration, because I would be crushed if I missed this. Most people I talk to get nervous before this type of event. I on the other hand could not be more EXCITED!!!! I will probably get there early. I will be ready with my box of tissues, and some kind of recording device. I have butterflies in my belly. I have loved big and lost many, tragically, unexpectedly, and  some to prolonged terminal illness. Bring on the messages, the countdown is on!

Blessings to all.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

Sometimes Momma needs to take care of herself too.....

So there are always many different projects happening here at the same time. Currently on any given day we are tending chickens, tending to our growing population of fish in our new tank, planting seeds for the garden, reading, knitting, math, and the list goes on. Recently, we have had some extra crazy situations thrown into the mix. We signed on a loan to renovate the newest member of our fishing fleet. This is a HUGE under taking and very exciting! We recently also found our Rooster dead in our coop, with an unclear cause of death. The same day we found one of our chickens had lodged herself between the house and the coop, and sustained a broken leg. She has been in ICCU (Intensive Chicken Care Unit) aka the dog kennel. One of our sons pushed one of our other sons, off the bed, he hit his head on the windowsill and needed a trip to the ER for 6 staples.......

Through it all we carry on, homeschooling, lobstering, building an Essential Oil business, tending a broken chicken leg, tending to the stapled noggin, making sourdough bread, making kefir water, readying the garden space......and on and on and on.

Momma gets tired.......Wait. Momma. Has. Been. Tired for about 11 years. Since the conception of our oldest child. Growing babies, nursing babies, raising babies......So, sometimes momma has to do something extra nice for herself. Well, that is what I did. I signed up for a service that will shop for me and send me some new clothes as often as I choose. Today I got my first package of new clothes. 5 items that I can choose to keep or send back, and I do not pay for them until I have opted to keep them. I received 3 new shirts, a warm zip-up vest, and a pair of jeans. I am keeping three of the five, and sending two back in a prepaid envelope.

Let me tell you something. I have pinched pennies. I have cut corners. I have cut hair at home to save money. I have/do use(d) cloth diapers. I have nursed babies. I have made homemade baby food. I have shopped at Salvation Army and Goodwill. I have worn the same fleece coat since I was 18...... Today, I put on a pair of jeans that are as comfortable as yoga pants. Today I opened a package of brand new clothes, that someone else put together for me. I did not have to go into a store, and try to find myself something to wear, with five kids in tow......I cannot wait to get dressed tomorrow and put on my new jeans and a new comfy shirt. Hell, maybe I will even shower tomorrow!!

Sometimes Momma needs to take care of herself too........I invite you to try this Stitch Fix too. You have nothing to lose. If you don't like any of it, you just send it back!!

https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/6509275

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

4:45 am........!!!!??!?!

Captain Lewis "Louie" Magellan of Lowell is our new, and first ever, Rooster. In less than 48 hours of being with us he has schooled us in the lifestyles of roosters, real quick! I love animals though, especially my chickens, and I am really hoping we can work together and find a mutual peace....

I have huge goals for this tiny parcel of land. I am going to tackle this barren tenth of an acre from a permaculture perspective. I am going to prove to myself that I can cultivate lots of nourishment right here in this tiny space. The chickens are part of the plan. Of course they give us beautiful eggs, but there is more to it than that. Chickens can be great garden helpers.

Last spring we lost one of our Austrolorps to a hawk. Here in our new house, we have already chased a hawk away. We have also had multiple Eagle sightings overhead. They would love a tasty chicken dinner. A friend offered some insight as to the importance of adding a Rooster to the flock. Captain Louie's job is to protect my ladies (well, technically I would say they are his ladies now, if you know what I mean). The hope is that he will keep watch and call out a warning when needed.

Here is the thing though, that I can't figure out......What is so dangerous about 4:45 am??? I know, I know, DUH, Roosters are loud, really loud!! 4:45 though buddy? So, out of desperation, compassion, and a distaste for failure..I googled it! How to quiet a Rooster. I know I don't need to capitalize the word Rooster, but a Rooster as loud and beautiful as Captain Lewis Magellan of Lowell, deserves the big R! Here is what I found, multiple sites offering the same advice.....A Rooster Collar!! What? Yup, you read that right, a Rooster collar.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iJkFJrVq87Y

It just so happens that we had some Velcro on hand! So, we are in the stages of testing this fantastic idea. If we can get the results we are looking for then everyone wins! The neighbors, Captain Louie, the chickens, and everyone in this house who wakes up at to the smallest sound......meaning me, the tired mom! If this works, Louie stays here, where he will not be dinner, he will hopefully be a daddy! He will carry out his days guarding his ladies and sharing his love. We will keep getting homegrown eggs, maybe some sweet little chicks, all the chicken poop we could ever want for our garden, bug control, free composting help, and so much more!!!! Stay tuned to find out what Captain Louie's fate will be. Maybe we can convince you to get a Rooster too......

Blessings to all.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

Doing it Our Way......

Everyday as a parent has challenges. No matter how many children you have, no matter where you live, whether you stay at home, work from home, or work outside of the home, parenting is THE TOUGHEST JOB EVER!! I am one of those extra nutty people who has opted to, not only forego a career using my Bachelor's degree, but to keep all five of my little horned-angels home to homeschool......Is it hard? You bet! Do I think about sending them to school sometimes? Sure thing, but guess what, I did, and we all hated it. That experience fell flat on its face, more than once. So, homeschool is just what we are most comfortable with. This is just what works best for us. We get up, without alarm clocks. We eat breakfast together, without being rushed. We all do chores and work together to keep the ship running smoothly. We learn side by side. We run our days on our time. If we are having an off day we adjust our plan accordingly. If our fishing Captain has unexpected free time we have family time.

It isn't always easy, in fact, it is mostly difficult. I wouldn't change it for the world. My children are only going to be children for a short time. I want to give them the best foundation they can have to become the people they really want to be. I want to use these young years to form great bonds with them. I want to foster their individual passions, teach them unconditional love, compassion for other beings, and help them to have an insatiable connection to nature.

So during our days together we learn the fundamentals of reading, writing, and math through art, and storytelling and hands on real life experience. We learn about compassion through caring for our pets and working through challenging family dynamics. Our days may not always be pretty, but they are real.

When we get to share extraordinary moments together, that they would miss out on in a classroom, it is all worth it. Today had a notable moment such as this.........

We woke to an unseasonably warm February day. We made it through breakfast and chores, and even bath time. Then we leashed up our youngest dog, Ruby, our extra motivated, extra strong, extra big for her age, 3 month old, black lab, and headed for the beach. One dog pulling me down the road, one baby on my back, and four big kids (3.5 to 9.5 years old), and to the shore we went.

Last year around this time we were buried in at least 6.5 feet of snow on an outer Maine island. I can't remember specific dates, but for a couple of days in February of 2015 we were also iced in on that island. No boats leaving. No boats coming. Iced in. Disconnected from the world. There was no warm sunny day at the beach.

Today, as the kids practiced writing in the sand, I closed my eyes and just listened to the water gently rolling in. The feel of warm sunshine on my face was just what I needed. Warm sunshine in February, surrounded by happy homeschoolers, the sound of the ocean swooshing into my favorite place in the world..........

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma