The Life of a Fisherman's Wife

When we have lived a certain way for a lifetime we can easily come to assume that the rest of the population must know what it is like to be us. Once in a while it occurs to me that to be a, "fishing family," is actually a foreign concept to many people, even people right here in my home state of Maine. So, sometimes, I take a step back to see through the challenges of this lifestyle and give thanks for the beauty of it that I might be taking for granted. I was welcomed into a fishing family as a baby. I was raised as a fisherman's daughter and granddaughter. I was on boats before I could walk and worked as a stern girl for my grandfather long before most kids even know what work is. The ocean, for me, has been a best friend for my lifetime. It is dependable despite it's unpredictability.

So, I suppose I was destined to be a fisherman's wife. Fishing is a lifestyle not simply an occupation. A good fisherman thinks of fishing most hours of the day. We all know what they think of the rest of the time (ahem, that is how I have five kids). There are hours at sea, hours mending gear, hours of boat maintenance, hours traveling to get supplies, hours spent on the phone with lobster dealers, hours spent lining up help, hours lost in thought planning out the shifting of gear to be ahead of the lobsters or whatever catch you seek. A good fisherman has the ocean in his veins. This is not a job that someone can suddenly decide to try out and expect to be good at. This is a lifetime commitment that starts during formative years.

To be a fisherman's wife is......not for anyone less than strong. Whether you have a full time job, work from home, stay home with kids or any combination thereof....... excuse my expletives but I was raised with and by dirty fisherman......you must have a bigger set of balls than most men. You will spend many hours alone, lonely, and worried. You most likely will be the home Captain because your fisherman will be, well, fishing. Your life will be unpredictably weather dependant, and so too will be your income. No matter whether your fisherman is an inshore, offshore, or ground fisherman you will be inclined to worry. There will be hours or even days without contact and safety is always an issue.

I digress from the point, beauty is abundant in this lifestyle. The obvious being your level of involvement with the ocean. A true blessing, for me, is to now live with the sight, smell and sound of the ocean out almost every window. The proximity to the beach is the hot fudge on the sundae. This week, in particular though, I found true blessing in the pure deliciousness of the freshest raw scallop you could get without diving on it yourself. Although we are not a scalloping family, we are blessed to have friends who are, and this week we got to enjoy some of their bounty. We have feasted on raw scallops, seared scallops and scallops wrapped in bacon, all week long....

I would like to point out that, every single time, you sit and enjoy a bite of seafood, stop and think. I would dare bet that someone put their life at risk to harvest that meal for you. While they were out at sea chasing that catch their wife, mother, sister, daughter, etc. was home keeping the family rolling and most likely wondering when, and praying for, the safe return of their fisherman or fisherwoman.

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

Oil Love

If you know me well, you know I love to be helpful. If you know me well, you know I care about the well being of others, sometimes to my own detriment. If you know me well, you know I think WAY too much. If you know me well, you know I will research topics I am passionate about, at lengths, sometimes in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping, but my overthinking, anxious brain has other ideas.......There is a point here, bare with me. So here are some choices I have made, for my family, based on said overthinking and late nights of research: We homeschool, we free range a small flock of entertaining chickens, we eat as organically as our budget will allow, we use doTERRA essential oils. These are choices that we are happy with. These are choices that are right for our family. This doesn't mean I will shove them down your throat or judge you for not doing the same. There is a lot to learn from our differences. So, here is where I am going with this. 1) I think you too might be very entertained by a small flock of backyard chickens, whether you get your own or visit someone else's. 2) Thanks to my new love for essential oils I can now maintain healthy sleep patterns, and I have support for the well being of my family. 3) Eat what you want it is your life, just maybe give your food a little more thought. You may learn something beneficial?? With regard to my essential oils adventure, my number one goal is to help. I am 99.9% sure you would be impressed by these little bottles of plant love. I happened to start this adventure while living on a remote island with a population of 55. So, 9 months in, I really can't say I have turned a profit on this business adventure. Do I plan to? Yes. Is that my number 1 goal? A resounding NO. I hope to empower others with knowledge to support their own well being. When I finally make it to a place of profit, my joy will come from knowing that I have helped others. Here's the other piece of my reasoning. I have opted to be a stay at home, homeschooling mother, wife of a fisherman, in place of seeking a career with my Bachelor's degree. So, if I can find an alternate income source, sharing something I am passionate about, helping others all the while, then why not? So, if I mention the oils to you, I am not coming at you with $$ signs in my eyes, I genuinely believe I can help. I will not push them at you. I will gently share them and my knowledge and leave you to decide for yourself. Just know this, if I didn't believe in these oils, I would not use them for my children. I protect them like a fierce wild animal.

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

Weathering the storm

I lost count of how many times I dreamed of this reality. The dreams were so real I would often wake crying, wanting to go home. I can still rewind to the exact moment I learned that this house would be lost in foreclosure. I remember exactly how it felt to think of never calling this home again....... To be here again, to call this home again, to be in this house, this neighborhood, to look out at my beautiful cove, to chat with neighbors I have known my whole life, to share it all with my children.....To wake up to this reality now, everyday....There are not words to really touch the feelings with. Losing this home before, left a hole in my heart, it changed me. There was much bitterness that came seeping into that hole in my heart. Over time I got better at pretending it didn't hurt anymore. The hole that was in my heart is healing. I can feel the bitterness getting escorted out by smiles and good memories. My heart is shining again. I can look out at the beautiful cove from almost every window in my house, even from my pillow. I can feel my grandmother's presence here and it is a peaceful feeling I have missed greatly. This is the stuff fairy tales are made of. I have weathered the storm, for 12 years, and I would do it all again just to come home.

Momma I'm coming home......

I told you the best part of the story was yet to come. First, a brief history. Here goes......

The first island I ever loved is/was Orr's Island. This is where I first joined my family as a baby. This is where I learned about the ocean, hauling traps, fishing, love, dysfunction, hard work, how to be a bartender. Many of life's lessons I learned from two of the most important people in my life, my grandparents. I loved these two fiercely, they were my heroes, my rocks. What little girl wouldn't love a grandfather who let her be his sterngirl? What little girl wouldn't love a grandmother who was there for her unconditionally through good times and bad?

When I was very young my grandparents were married and they lived together on my beloved island. As time went on life happened, they separated, but their house remained a member of the family. This house has always been an old friend. Like my grandmother, it was always there when you needed a shoulder to cry on or a place to stay.

In the 90s my family moved in with my grandmother. My mother, my father, myself, and my sisters. Tragedy struck, my grandfather died unexpectedly, and we were forced to leave a house that we were renting from him. So, to grandmother's house we went. Life was dysfunctional to say the least, but we had each other, and we had a roof over our heads.

Time went on, my grandmother gave (yes, you read that right, gave) the house to my parents. They took out a mortgage on it, they renovated it, they made it ours......Yup, then they divorced.....My father took the separation very hard. He gambled away his money, and in essence, he gambled away the house. We lost our home. We lost the house that was home to so many, not just us. This house had been part of the family since the 50s. My father and his siblings were raised there. Many members of the family, and even the occasional friend, called this house home. it was a gathering place with an open door policy. You were always welcome for a snack, a drink, a game, a place to stay.

Losing that house was, for lack of a better word, devastating. Through the years that have passed since we lost it I have driven by just to say hello to my house and shed some tears. The house is in a neighborhood that has stories from generations of my family. my grandmother, and also her father, grew up in this neighborhood.

Well folks, the stars have aligned. I am leaving one beautiful island adventure, and I. Am. Going. Home!!!!!!! I will bring my children home to my beloved island, my beloved house. They will see, hear and smell the ocean from their bedroom windows, and their front yard. I will show them all the places I explored as a child. We will even cook meals together on the same stove my grandmother used to feed us. If this is a dream, please DO NOT wake me up!!!! God is good. All the time.

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading, Island Momma

Change is coming about.......

At the age of 36, married with 5 children, I am not at a place where I need to try to fit in. I am not at a place where I need to prove anything to anyone. I am also not at a place where I am actively seeking friends or acceptance from anyone. (Let's be honest, I am a homeschooling mother of 5 kids under the age of 10, I barely have time to go to the bathroom) Moving to a remote island with a full time population of 55 you have some interesting choices to make. Keep in mind that this is a community that has a fabric dating back generations. Being an outsider coming in, having different ideals, who the F%*$ am I to try and reweave the fabric?? Here's the thing, I get it, I too am from an island where we like things the way they are. So, as the "new family", we had the option of making a real go of it here, or not. This is an incredibly beautiful place. The year rounders are quite comfortable with the dynamics they have created. The reality is, this is their island. I am honored to have been able to join the community and experience life here. We were committed to making this our new story, our new home. However, as an adventurer, you must be open to the lessons that come with the travel, and be thankful for what the lessons bring to light, and be open to changing course.

After almost a year and half into this adventure I have learned some things about myself. I underestimated how much I would miss home. I will not be leaving because I am weak, or because I can't handle life on an island. If you know me well, you know I am a strong woman, I have been through a lot, and I am a survivor. It is as simple as this, "There is no place like home." However, I could not not have come to that realization without this adventure. I have always liked to run away. From the time I was very small, when my emotions got too big, I ran away. I guess, in a way, when I came to this island I was running away. I was running away from the comfort of familiarity. I thought that there was a better life out here. In the end, this experience has taught me to appreciate what was right in front of me the whole time.

The time here was not wasted. We met some great people. We made some new, unexpected, lifelong connections. We taught our children to step outside of the box. We taught them that family always comes first. We have become closer as a family, and stronger in our marriage.

Stay tuned, the best part of this story is yet to come.........

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

Life is meant to be an adventure.....

So, it is easy for us to get stuck in a routine, to set the boundaries of our life neatly inside of a box. To go out of our comfort zone can be very uncomfortable. In fact, some of us never go outside of the box. Others of us, from time to time, set out on an adventure looking for something with the promise of excitement. No matter what you choose, it is your life to live. This life holds an individual journey for each of us. Our paths cross at different points along the way offering lessons through the relationships we forge. On an offshore island, with very real, tangible boundaries, we can easily forget that there is a whole other world out there. This island living can, if you are not mindful, leave us to become too entwined in the lives of the other 54 people we share the island with. This island living is a beautiful, magical privilege. Island living is a culture. I have come to understand that each island has it's own culture.

I am an island girl born and raised. I understand that island living is a way of life that only the saltiest of us can endure and appreciate. When you are so deeply connected to an island, there is no other place that you feel truly at home. My husband and I, and our 5 little kids, committed to trying life on a new island. An island 4 hours away from the one we grew up on. This was a ballsy commitment. In the fishing world you are very aware of "territory" on the water. So for us to move our family from our home port to a new one took a lot of planning and lengthy conversation.

When you are from an island you feel a huge sense of ownership and pride for the beautiful rock you live on. You are connected to those you grow up with like they are all family. You fight like family, you party like family, and you are there for each other when the times get tough. Island people can be set in their ways, stubborn if you will. We are not interested in outsiders coming into our world and making any changes, because the way we do it is, "the way we have always done it."

So with all of this said, let me get to my point. Here is what I know for sure: * Appreciate every lesson as it comes * Life your life the way you need to live it * Let others live life, their way, as long as they are not harming you

There is more to this story, but if I told you the whole thing now, what fun would that be??? To be continued.............

Laundry, Blueberries, and HomeSchool

Another beautiful July day out here in the middle of the ocean. We woke to a dungeon of fog that was burned off by the sun mid-morning. This is a typical occurrence, indicative of tuna season!! From our perch up here on the hill, we do not see the ocean, but we can here boats all day. The perfect background noise for wild-Maine blueberry picking! We are onto our second freezer bag for the season, not including all we have eaten! The third load of laundry is about to go on the line. Nothing beats the smell of sun dried laundry. With the cost of electricity at $.35 per kilowatt hour......Line drying is the way to go for a family of 7, plus 1 with our visiting niece. Hanging laundry is a welcome chore for me. It guarantees me time out on my deck. I can feel the sun, the breeze if there is one. I can smell and hear the sounds of the ocean. I can also have a chat with my chickens.

Between loads I have managed to get some paperwork in order for the upcoming school year. It is time to submit test results, and letters of intent for the new home school year. Are we excited? You bet, we are going Waldorf this year. We are going to have fun. We are going to read, play music, get creative with art and handwork, get closer to nature, bake, and work on our math skills. We are going to do this together, on our time, at our pace.

More to come later, off to get that vitamin D while I get the laundry out..

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

Homeschooling against the grain....

We have been a homeschooling family for four years now. When we made the decision to move to a remote island we opted to give the tiny, one room school house a whirl. Our three school aged children brought the school population up to seven. We thought such a small class size, with two teachers, would be a comfortable fit. Well, as time went on it just became clear that homeschooling just fits better, for us. Life on an island is complicated in many ways. The biggest challenge for us is to keep the food stock plentiful. A shopping day means that we all leave the island together on the Mailboat. In the off season the Mailboat makes only two trips a day. So we leave at 8:15 am and return at 5:00 pm. When the kids were in school here, this meant leaving part of our family behind, on a remote island, a boat ride away, with terrible cell phone reception between us......That leaves an anxious mother feeling very unsettled. Then there was the added obstacle of planning "trips off" (island talk for trips off of the island). Planning trips off revolved around the Mailboat, our fishing schedule, the weather, and the school schedule. So, for us, having one less entity, public school, adding to the feelings of isolation, equals relief.

We have begun to plan our new school year for 2015-2016 and we are so excited to have found the world of Waldorf. It just takes what we have already been doing and seriously fine tuning it. While doing my research I discovered this great support group, and great Waldorf Essentials curriculum. I would highly recommend this to any family interested in approaching homeschool from a Waldorf perspective.

The trouble with homeschooling on a tiny island is this.......The year round population of 55 depends on the public school for a handful of jobs. The seasonal population of around 350, depends on the health of a community to keep the island going. The school is an integral part of a sustainable year round island community. So, for us to take nearly half of the school population out, to homeschool.......left some ruffled feathers. In such a small community you are almost always VERY aware of EVERYONE'S opinions. Turns out, we are homeschooling against the grain. Turns out, these are my children, they do not belong to the island community.

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

 

 

Salty Morning

The norm in this house is for the kids to start rising at 6:00am. We have been encouraging them to stay in their rooms until 8:00. This gives Momma (Daddy is gone long before) a chance to get her eyes open, a cup of tea, let the dog out, open the coop for the ladies, nurse the baby, and get our three year old settled in to something interesting. Then we all gather for breakfast and to map out our day. This fine morning, I rolled out of bed, with the baby in tow, looked at the clock........7:50???? What?? I cannot recall the last time that happened. What a gift. Could it be the fantastic essential oils? Well, in any case, I start my routine. I get the baby settled in the pack and play, the three year old settled, the "olders" (an island term for big kids) busy playing, and get my crocks on to head out to the coop.

As I open the door I am greeted with what is, hands down, the most comfortable smell, for me, on this great Earth, the sea. You might think that this is something I smell everyday living on an island. This is a smell that I miss when I travel away from the coast, and it is the first sign I am close to home when I return from away. The ocean is a short walk away on most days. However, there are days that are saltier than others. Today is one of those days. This is a sign of good things.

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading,

Island Momma

Essential Oils Adventure

As time has gone on, and my parenting has evolved, I have spent many hours reading, researching, questioning EVERYTHING from diapers, to homeschooling curriculum, to alternative healthcare. We eat as clean as we can, most of the time. We are an active family. We emphasize the important balance between exercise and rest. Given that we live on a remote island, with virtually no medical care available, it is more important than ever, for us to have a good understanding of self care. It is important to keep our immune systems strong. We have a good relationship with our Naturopath, but she is a 45 minute boat ride, and then a 1 hour drive away...

I have been using essential oils for several years now. Recently I spent some time educating myself a little further about the difference in quality between cheaper oils and those that are of therapeutic grade. All the reading I have done points to doTerra Essential Oils being of the highest quality. We have joined the doTerra team and have quickly seen results in treating moles, anxiety, skin infections, toothaches, and the list goes on.

I am happy to share what I know and what I am learning. If you are interested in joining me start here:

https://www.mydoterra.com/Application/index.cfm?EnrollerID=2076373&Theme=DefaultTheme&ReturnURL=www.mydoterra.com/kellymerrill&LNG=en_dot&iact=1

Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading.

From six miles out to sea......

From six miles out to sea, this is, officially, my blog. Welcome to it. I will get my feet under me here, and start sharing my adventures with you. This site isn't pretty, but sometimes life is just that way. Raw and unedited. Especially life on an island, with five little kids, a fisherman, a dog, a cat, and three chickens. Somehow in the midst of chaos, I find comfort. Even when we make every effort to make things neat and tidy, we have to come to accept that we just can't control it. Any of it. The number of messy diapers, the number of tantrums, the weather, the lobster catch.......So for now, this is a start. The improvements over time will just be that much more exciting. Blessings to you.

Thanks for reading.